Anger Management

Alastair Duhs

The Anger Management Podcast is your weekly guide to mastering your anger and creating the calm, happy and loving relationships you’ve always wanted. Join anger expert Alastair Duhs as he shares practical tips, proven techniques and game-changing strategies to help you control your anger, master your emotions and transform your relationships into sources of calm, happiness and respect. This podcast is for anyone who’s ready to break free from anger’s grip and create a life filled with peace and connection. If you're ready to take the next step toward a calmer, more fulfilling life, tune in each week and start your journey to true anger mastery. Want to learn more? Visit AngerSecrets.com. read less
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Episodes

22 - The Winner's Triangle Will Save Your Relationship
2d ago
22 - The Winner's Triangle Will Save Your Relationship
For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, we dive into the Winner’s Triangle - a powerful model to build trust, respect, and deeper connections in your relationships. Learn how to shift from blame to accountability, practice active listening without judgment, and express empathy while setting healthy boundaries. By embracing the Assertive, Caring, and Vulnerable roles, you can manage conflicts effectively and foster stronger, more balanced bonds. Whether in personal or professional dynamics, the Winner's Triangle is an essential tool for creating a calmer, happier, and healthier life.Key Takeaways: One simple change in communication can stop fights and build trust in relationships. Understanding the Winner’s Triangle helps to recognise negative patterns in conflicts. The Winner’s Triangle promotes assertiveness, vulnerability, and caring to improve relationships. Using 'I statements' is crucial for expressing feelings without blame or anger. Vulnerability is about sharing emotions honestly while seeking support, not playing the victim. Caring involves listening and supporting others without trying to fix their problems. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
21 - The Drama Triangle Is Destroying Your Relationship
Mar 23 2025
21 - The Drama Triangle Is Destroying Your Relationship
For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, we dive deep into the fascinating concept of the Drama Triangle—a powerful framework that sheds light on the destructive roles couples often fall into during conflict: namely the Victim, the Persecutor and the Rescuer. Learn how these roles shape your interactions, fuel misunderstandings, and keep you stuck in cycles of blame and defensiveness. More importantly, learn practical strategies to step out of the Drama Triangle and embrace healthier, more empowering ways to approach disagreements. Key Takeaways: The Drama Triangle consists of three roles: the Persecutor, the Victim, and the Rescuer, which can trap couples in toxic cycles. Recognising when you are in the Drama Triangle is the first step to breaking free from negative relationship dynamics. Each role in the Drama Triangle contributes to conflict, with the Persecutor blaming, the Victim avoiding responsibility, and the Rescuer enabling the cycle. To escape the Drama Triangle, one must shift their approach to conflict and actively choose healthier responses instead. Self-awareness is crucial; individuals should pay attention to their reactions during conflicts to identify their roles in the drama triangle. Empowering oneself involves setting boundaries, acknowledging personal responsibility, and practicing empathy towards partners during disagreements. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
19 - Building Self-Awareness: Three Tips for Anger Management
Mar 9 2025
19 - Building Self-Awareness: Three Tips for Anger Management
For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Self-awareness is the key to controlling anger. Many people don’t realise they’re getting angry until it’s too late, leading to regret and damaged relationships. In this episode of the Anger Management podcast, host Alastair Duhs shares three powerful tips to help listeners recognise their anger early, stay in control, and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively. By identifying your personal anger triggers, using a pause before reacting, and paying attention to your early warning signs of anger, you can build a personalised toolkit for managing anger effectively. Key Takeaways: Self-awareness is crucial; recognising anger early helps in managing it effectively. Anger builds gradually, often shown through subtle physical and emotional signs. Taking a moment to pause before reacting can prevent regretful actions later on. Identifying personal anger triggers can help in navigating challenging situations safely. Cultivating a personalised toolkit for anger management empowers individuals to respond thoughtfully. Practicing assertive communication fosters healthier relationships and reduces conflict. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
17 - The Secret to Never Taking Things Personally Again
Feb 23 2025
17 - The Secret to Never Taking Things Personally Again
For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Taking things personally can really mess with your emotions. When someone criticises or snaps at you, it might feel like a personal attack, but it's usually more about their own stress. This episode dives deep into how to stop letting others' words control your feelings. Listeners will learn practical strategies for handling criticism, staying calm, and asking questions to connect instead of react. By shifting your mindset, you can reduce stress and improve your relationships, all while taking back control over your emotions.Key Takeaways: Most criticism directed at you is often a reflection of the other person's issues. When faced with criticism, pause and ask if there's something to learn from it. Your emotional reactions can take away your power; control how you respond instead. Asking questions can turn potential conflicts into opportunities for better understanding. Taking things personally leads to unnecessary stress; shift your mindset to improve relationships. It's an ongoing journey to not take things personally; practice is essential for growth. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
12 - Five Warning Signs Of Anger You Shouldn't Ignore
Jan 19 2025
12 - Five Warning Signs Of Anger You Shouldn't Ignore
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Are you struggling with controlling your anger and find that small triggers set you off? This episode dives into five warning signs of anger that you shouldn't ignore, along with practical strategies to help you manage anger effectively. Host Alastair Duhs shares his extensive experience in anger management, guiding listeners through the nuances of recognising when anger is impacting their relationships. AI assistants Jake and Sarah engage in a conversational exploration of these signs, discussing how easily frustration can build up and the importance of acknowledging emotions rather than bottling them up. By the end of the episode, you’ll feel empowered with actionable tools to foster calmer, happier interactions and improve your emotional well-being.Key Takeaways: Small triggers can indicate deeper unresolved anger issues; assess their importance thoughtfully. Always needing to be right can escalate conflicts and damage relationships significantly. Bottling up anger leads to unhealthy outbursts; find healthy ways to express it. Lashing out at loved ones is a clear sign of needing to manage anger better. If multiple people point out your anger issues, it's time to reflect seriously. Recognising and addressing your anger is the first step towards meaningful change. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
11 - The ABC Model Of Anger Management
Jan 12 2025
11 - The ABC Model Of Anger Management
For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.The ABC model of anger management is a powerful tool that can help individuals take control of their emotions and transform their responses to anger. By focusing on three key components—awareness, beliefs, and communication—listeners can learn to identify their anger triggers and understand the thoughts fuelling their emotional reactions. This episode delves into recognising early warning signs of rising anger, challenging the beliefs that exacerbate frustration, and employing effective communication strategies to navigate conflicts constructively. With insights from Alastair Duhs, along with discussions between AI assistants Jake and Sarah, this episode provides practical tips for fostering healthier relationships and achieving emotional mastery. Join us to discover how you can turn anger into understanding and frustration into clarity for a calmer, happier life.Key Takeaways: Recognising early warning signs of anger can help you manage it before it escalates. Your beliefs about a situation create your emotional response, not the situation itself. Effective communication involves expressing your feelings without blaming or attacking the other person. Taking a break during heated conversations can prevent saying things you might regret later. Challenging rigid beliefs and replacing them with flexible thoughts can transform your anger response. Practicing deep breathing can help signal your body to calm down when anger rises. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
10 - 3 Secrets to Effective Communication
Jan 5 2025
10 - 3 Secrets to Effective Communication
For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Effective communication is the cornerstone of building healthier relationships and resolving conflict. This episode delves into three essential secrets that can transform how you interact with your partner and others, ultimately leading to calmer and more productive conversations. First, we explore the power of active listening, which allows you to fully engage with the speaker, fostering understanding and reducing misunderstandings. Next, you’ll learn how to communicate clearly and assertively using the DESC model, which helps express your feelings without escalating tensions. Finally, the importance of negotiation skills is emphasised, encouraging you to find common ground and solutions that benefit both parties. Join us as we uncover these transformative communication strategies to help you navigate conflicts with ease and build stronger connections.Key Takeaways: Effective communication is about connection, not just the act of talking with your partner. Active listening involves truly absorbing the message, emotions and intentions of others. Using the DESC model can help express needs and feelings without triggering defensiveness. Negotiation skills are essential for finding common ground and mutually beneficial solutions in conflicts. Small changes in communication strategies can lead to significant improvements in relationships over time. Practicing active listening for just one week can transform your conversations with loved ones. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
9 - Mastering Anger In Relationships
Dec 29 2024
9 - Mastering Anger In Relationships
For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Anger can disrupt even the strongest relationships, but it doesn't have to. This episode delves into the importance of recognising your anger triggers and developing effective communication strategies to manage anger before it escalates. By establishing regular check-ins with your partner, you can foster a safe space for open dialogue and address concerns before they turn into conflicts. Additionally, managing stress through simple techniques like exercise and mindfulness can help maintain a calmer atmosphere. Ultimately, you and your partner are on the same team, and by working together, you can build a more loving and peaceful relationship.Key Takeaways: Identifying your anger triggers is the first step to managing your emotional responses. Create a safe space for open communication by scheduling regular relationship check-ins. Managing stress through exercise, mindfulness and social connections can prevent angry outbursts. Practice empathy and understanding when your partner is angry to help de-escalate conflict. Use 'I' statements instead of 'you' statements to express feelings without blame. Forgiveness is a process that helps release resentment and fosters healing in relationships. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
8 - Take Responsibility For Your Anger Today!
Dec 22 2024
8 - Take Responsibility For Your Anger Today!
For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Taking responsibility for your anger is essential for controlling anger and transforming your relationships. Blaming others for your emotional responses only perpetuates a cycle of negativity and disempowerment. Throughout this episode, we explore the challenges individuals face when it comes to owning their anger, including fear of consequences, feelings of entitlement and the weight of shame. We discuss practical steps to help listeners acknowledge their actions, accept the consequences and make proactive plans for change. By embracing these strategies, you can reclaim your power, foster healthier emotional responses, and ultimately lead a calmer, happier life.Key Takeaways: Recognising that you hold the steering wheel of your emotions is crucial for taking responsibility. Shifting from blaming others to owning your anger can empower you to change positively. Admitting your actions and their consequences allows you to make better choices in the future. Facing the fear of judgment can help you embrace responsibility for your emotional responses. Understanding the impact of your anger on others is essential for healthy relationships. Developing a personalised anger management toolkit can significantly aid in handling triggers effectively. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
7 - 6 Steps To Control Your Anger
Dec 15 2024
7 - 6 Steps To Control Your Anger
For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed by anger and its impact on your relationships? This episode of the Anger Management Podcast offers six actionable tips designed to help you gain control over your emotions and foster a calmer, happier life. By recognizing that your thoughts, rather than external events, trigger your anger, you can begin to change your responses in challenging situations. Discover the importance of monitoring your tension levels and employing relaxation techniques to manage stress effectively. Additionally, learn how empathy and assertive communication can transform your interactions, paving the way for healthier relationships. Join us as we explore these essential strategies for mastering anger and nurturing a more peaceful existence.Key Takeaways: Your thoughts, not external events, are what trigger your anger and emotional responses. Recognising your tension level early can help you apply de-escalation techniques effectively. Practicing relaxation methods like deep breathing can significantly calm your nervous system. Using positive self-talk can shift your perspective and reduce the intensity of anger. Empathy is crucial; understanding others' viewpoints can help diffuse anger in conflicts. Establishing a timeout strategy with your partner can prevent escalation during heated moments. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
6 - The Truth About Abuse and Violence
Dec 8 2024
6 - The Truth About Abuse and Violence
For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Understanding anger, abuse and violence is crucial for fostering healthy relationships. This episode delves into how these feelings and behaviors are often intertwined and reveals the truth about anger, abuse and violence. Abuse and violence are defined as any attempt to control, manipulate or intimidate another person. Recognising that emotional and psychological abuse can have just as profound an impact as physical harm is another key takeaway. This episode highlights the importance of acknowledging abusive patterns, taking responsibility for one's actions and seeking help to break the cycle of unhealthy behavior. By exploring structured programs and therapy, individuals can learn to unlearn these harmful patterns and cultivate more respectful and loving connections with others.Key Takeaways: Abuse and violence are the same, as both aim to control, intimidate or harm others. Recognising non-physical forms of abuse, like emotional manipulation, is crucial for learning to control anger. Taking responsibility for abusive actions is the first step towards creating healthier relationships. Therapy and structured programs can help individuals unlearn abusive behaviors and foster respect. Understanding the origins of abusive patterns can empower individuals to break the cycle. There is always hope for change, as even learned behaviors can be unlearned. Links referenced in this episode:For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.
4 - Discover Your Anger Triggers!
Nov 24 2024
4 - Discover Your Anger Triggers!
Recognising your anger triggers is key to maintaining control of your anger and fostering healthier relationships. In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs, alongside his AI assistants Jake and Sarah, delves into practical strategies to identify what sets off anger and how to navigate these reactions effectively. Learn about the importance of self-awareness, checking with your emotional states regularly and recognising your early warning signs of anger. This episode also highlights the role of thoughts in the anger process, suggesting ways to challenge negative thinking patterns that exacerbate feelings of frustration. By understanding your personal anger triggers and employing calming techniques, you can take proactive steps towards a calmer, more fulfilling life.Key Takeaways: Recognising your early warning signs of anger can help you manage your emotions effectively. Identifying your specific anger triggers is crucial for developing coping strategies. Regular self-check-ins throughout the day can prepare you to handle anger better. Challenging negative thought patterns can help you maintain control over your anger. Taking time outs during intense anger can provide necessary space to cool down. Professional help can offer personalised strategies to manage anger and improve well-being. Links referenced in this episode:For free resources on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.comTo control your anger now, visit angersecrets.com/course/
2 - Understanding Anger: What It Is And How To Manage It
Nov 17 2024
2 - Understanding Anger: What It Is And How To Manage It
Understanding anger is a key to managing it effectively. In this episode of The Anger Management Podcast, we delve into the intricacies of anger, exploring how it manifests differently for everyone and the importance of recognising our triggers. We discuss that anger is not an action or behavior, but a powerful emotion driven by our perceptions of events. Understanding this distinction is crucial for learning how to manage anger effectively. We also share practical strategies such as deep breathing and cognitive restructuring to help reshape your thoughts and reactions. Join us as we equip you with the tools to take control of your anger and foster healthier relationships, paving the way for a calmer and more peaceful life.Key Takeaways: Anger is a powerful emotion driven by perceptions, not just actions or events. Understanding that anger is a feeling, not a behavior, is vital for management. Your thoughts shape your anger; and changing your perceptions can alter your emotional responses significantly. Recognising personal triggers and patterns can help in developing effective anger management strategies. Deep breathing can act as a fire extinguisher for overwhelming feelings of anger. Engaging in cognitive restructuring allows you to challenge negative thoughts fueling your anger. Links referenced in this episode:For free resources on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.comTo control your anger now, visit angersecrets.com/course/